Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
