and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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