is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
