i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
