we made out on top of his cat.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize