I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
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We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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