I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
