How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
