I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
