The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
