Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
