ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
