I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
