I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
