I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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