Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize