It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So many bounce houses so little time
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
