Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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