Tell her she can't have a vagina
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
