In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
