When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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