1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
