There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
