is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
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Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Two words: nipple clamps
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