True but thats because hes a fetus.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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