I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we're making bets on your personal life
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
there is puke in my bra ... again
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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