I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You brought string cheese to the strip club
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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