I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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