i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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