I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
