i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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