Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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