she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
