Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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