Your face is a jimmy john
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
