Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
