Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
