Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
