so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
