11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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