If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My balls are so social today.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
