Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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