So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
i out mim tonsoeep
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
