You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
