so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize
