Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
