You're my little dorito
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
