please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
