Non-Jews are for practice
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
