i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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