Three words: puerto rican gang bang
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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