My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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