I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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