Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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