I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
