the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
