Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Randomize
