so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
my nose is crying tears of wow.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
