OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
