someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
